Oh to be a swabbie helper!

I think I'll be a swabbie helper
For when the Two-Toed Purple Whelper
Leaves its dishes on the shelves,
They don't get cleaned all by themselves.

I'd love to grab up plates and trash
And leftover heaps of Pollywuzzle hash
I'll rinse out bottles with delight
(Assuming they're Guinness, and not Bud Lite.)

Yes! A swabster I shall be!
I'll shout it from the nearest tree!
I'll shout it from roofs and mountains!
And from the tops of water fountains!

I'll bring along my Dinogrunk
Who squirts out Lysol from his trunk.
And his ears spooge Palmovlie bubbles,
Giving dirt its share of troubles.

For being a swabbie is no fun,
Unless you're helped by everyone.
And I'd be glad to scrub my way,
'Cuz I'm too lame to be DJ. :)

--Todd Kerpelman